Dude my mom stole all your condoms
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
