White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
