high people should be assigned attendants
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
