she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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