Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
