If that was your dad, he is hot
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think i got beer on your cat.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
