P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
