ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
