we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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