Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
