She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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