AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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