Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
