"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
