soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
