Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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