yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
did you just send me my own nude
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
