she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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