What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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