I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
