New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Found your dick twin last night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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