college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I still have a little drunk in my system
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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