I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
