On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
