hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jerry, you need to find god
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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