Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
