And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
