Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
