office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
