I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
