so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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