I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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