My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
