i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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