Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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