I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
