shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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