it was like his penis was on wheels.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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