I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
