Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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