I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he fucked my hip out of place.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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