I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
