i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
