I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
