the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
