i would punch a child for taco bell
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
