well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
