oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sext me about skeletons
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
