Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Screwed.edu
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she looked like the before picture.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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