a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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