Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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