'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think i have two assholes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
