Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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