i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
