yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
